for where we are is hell

COSTUME. It is a curious fact that, in Fantasyland, the usual Rules for CLOTHING are reversed. Here, the colder the climate, the fewer garments worn. In the SNOWBOUND NORTH, the BARBARIAN HORDES will wear little more than a fur loincloth and copper wristguards (see CHILLBLAINS* and HYPOTHERMIA). However, as one progresses south to reach the ANGLO-SAXON COSSACKS, one finds VESTS and BOOTS added to this costume. Further south still, the inhabitants of the VESTIGIAL EMPIRE wear short SKIRTS and singlets and add to this a voluminous wrapper on cold days. Thereafter, clothing steadily increases in thickness and quantity, until one finds the DESERT NOMADS in the tropics muffled to the eyebrows in layers of ROBES (see HEATSTROKE).

*CHILLBLAINS are unheard-of, however inclement the WEATHER. This is probably because the Management lives mostly in California.